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imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 



cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call



*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*


please stop romanticizing Lord Farquad


FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS


it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing